The B Word

I work with a bunch of teenagers and I will be the first to admit that when I am at work, there are many words thrown around the place that don't cause me to flinch anymore. I am getting use to slang, which means using inappropriate words in appropriate ways. Certain "bad" words become adjectives. And sadly, when I correct the student, they are not sure what they said. Certain words have become part of their every day talk. I never thought that I would say "back in my day..." but when it comes to language, I found that I have been saying just that. "Back in my day, if we even thought that... we would be escorted out of the building." There are a few that I say "whoo" at, but for the most part, these words become part of the background noise, like the swoosh from the vents. I know that I should correct their language, and I do, it just moves past me without much of a reaction. When someone else is around, like a parent, I become more aware of the impact that certain words leave. I work with the students to change their language, to be more verbal, more powerful with their words rather than resorting to "those" words. I think that language can be very powerful, when used properly. But certain words always leave a mark, no matter who you are.

At home, things are much different. At home, even the slightest bossy or condensing tone catches my attention and sets my skin on fire. My four year old said "damn it" and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Needless to say, she was immediately corrected and held accountable. She has not said it since. I try to teach values and expressive language. My children talk alot, they have things to say and I respect and accept affective language, I don't even mind when they have an opinion, but certain words, certain phrases should not be verbalized. I don't have to tell you what they are, do I?!

But between my husband and I, most recently with all of these problems and stresses that we have had, we have been using the "b" word. I know what you are thinking, "you are saying what?!" Yes, we have. We have to, we have been through so much, it is as if we have no other choice. It is applicable to what we have been talking about. In fact, yesterday on TV (not cable) many people were saying it, I am not justifying it, I am just saying, it was said out loud and without a flinch. But us, it seems to be on our minds, we have talked about it, we have said it, we have even taught the definition to our children, so that they can understand what it means and why we said it. I find myself thinking it, stating it and even praying about it. That word, the tiny little six letter word. How can one word have such power, such meaning. This little word, this powerful word has been causing controversy in the media, in the homes, between people. And I admit, it has crippled us in some ways. I find myself thinking about it, planning for it and even I use it in discussions with Steve. When I have been creating the list for groceries, the B word just comes flying out of my mouth. Craving ice cream from dairy queen, and we don't go, because the B word zooms around the house. I put a hole in my new dress socks... yep you got it. "B" Word. We say it quietly with resentment and bitterness, we say it loudly, as if to see if it really can be said. I am finding ways to make sure that I see black with the "b" and not red.

I never thought I would obsess about this word, or any word for that matter.

Please pray for us as we work through this, has we learn the important of being, of having, of you know, a "b".

I just hate being on a "budget" don't you. What? What word did you think I was talking about?!

The other word that has been tossed around has been the "d" word. Do I have to spell that one out for you too?

P.S. I read this to Steve and says that he does not know what the fuss is all about, I am not funny. Sad for him, I control the "B" in this house!!

May God bless you and your family, with the humor and cushion to get through all of lives challenges and changes. And may your "b" be in the black at the end.