Chocolate anyone?

***Warning*** I am crazy emotional today and I am just going to get it out of my system. If you are not in the mood to hear me whine... then stop now because it is a pity party...

If you want to join the pity party , grab the chocolate!

I feel sad and overwhelmed, I know that we will be okay one day. But I don't know when that one day is and I don't know what is going to happen in the mean time. I don't want to shut off our cable, I don't want to cancel our cell phones, I don't want to cancel my planned trip to Myrtle Beach in December (my mom lives there and I was not able to go because of Steve's accident in the summer, so I really want to for the holidays). I just don't want to.

I will, if I have to , I just don't want to.

I am not asking for anyone of you to send me money, or gas cards or any of that, this is not a plea for help, this is just an old fashioned pity party.

I have been sad for the past two days for really small reasons. I had some jewelry sitting in my box, just sitting there, adn I decided to sell it because the price of gold is strong and I thought that I would help. I sold two rings, three pendents and one necklage. Things I don't wear anymore, but it was hard. It is like I am saying the life of luxury is over. I sold them because my wedding ring needs to be fixed and we just don't have the money. I got $55 for all of that gold (I will not tell you how much each item was individually) and it will cost $175 to fix my ring (the prongs holding my diamond are bent and the whole head needs to be replaced). I asked for an even trade, I will sell you all of this gold and you fix my ring?! Nope.

And that little piece of news started the pity party. I don't care about selling my jewelry that much. It was old stuff that I have not worn in years. But my wedding ring is very important to me. I now have six pieces that are very important to me adn they each represent my family, so I just had to fix my wedding ring, because it is so meaningful to me.

Trust me, if this made me sad, cancelling cable will just piss me off.

My last post was about being spoiled, I said all of that with some laughter. Now I am emotional and upset, I am spoiled, I LIKE being spoiled.

So... pity party over.

Please don't feel like you need to help me, I love that others have been helping so much, I really do. I feel torn, about hte gracious adn the compassion of others and the "I am not worthy" feeling that we have. We will be okay, it is a long fall from spoiled to the "b" word (budget, people, not that other word). And quite frankly,we are being dragged kicking adn screaming. I am not saying any of this to get you or anyone to save us, or bail us out. Honest, I don't want anyone to rescue us, I just wanted to be sad and have a pity party.

If you feel a need to do something, pray, send chocolate, drop donuts off at the front door, you know that sort of "let's support the pity party" and the "spoiled family who can't handle reality"!

Thanks for coming to my party... come by my house and I will give all participants a brownie, if there are any left....

Thanks be to God, who will guide us, shelter us and love us.