Not ready to talk but need to say something

Okay, here is my super secret please be patient with me blog.

I went to the doctor last week for a standard run of the mill appointment and there is some abnormal going on with me. And NO, it was not an appointment with a psychiatrist. Because we all know that I am very abnormal, so stop worrying about me being crazy.

I mean, something abnormal with my normally normal health. So, she is sending me for more tests. It could be nothing or it could be something. Well, it is something, however it could not get worse or it could.

I know that I am not making sense. I don't know what to say right now, how much I want to say, except that I need to say this. I don't want to say what it is or what it might be, because I just want to know for sure. My next appointment for more extensive tests is next week. So, I promise to say more than.

Let me digress and shift the subject. I have a very dear friend. Whom I never see enough, but think of her all the time. She got sick, flu type symptoms which never really cleared up and started to drain on her energy, so she broke down and went to the doctor (after being sick with flu like symptoms for a few weeks). Her doctor thought Mono, or some other type of infection. He gave her a prescription and send her on her way. Then a bit later, she basically collapsed and was hospitalized. The labels were being thrown around, one the scariest ones was leukemia. But they could not really figure out what it was, and honestly when a doctor (or team) can not figure out what it is, they don't know how to treat it. Long story short, they finally stabilized her and still not knowing what to do, she just started to get better and was released from the hospital. What a scare for her and her family. The journey was hard, but the ending was okay. And then her husband was diagnosed with ALS, and after battling with ALS for around two years, he died. She has two young children.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because she and God are my touching stones. She was on this crazy roller coaster of a life for over three years and she keep her pride, love, sense of humor and her Faith. When I start to feel sorry for myself, I think of her and all that she is and suck it up. She has had to put her life together without her husband, and she has. She is a strong, smart and wonderful woman. I don't know if she reads this blog or not, but she knows how I feel. And if she reads this, I will know, because she will call me and demand answers...

However, I don't have answers. I have an odd symptom that may mean it will turn into more symptoms and then an actual disease, needing treatment and such or may mean just the odd symptom that needs to be treated all by itself.

So, I will let you know... when I am ready.

As always, as you end your day, pray for your family, but your gifts of prayer to our family are still appreciated and welcomed.